A Thousand Words

            I’ve always been someone who pays close attention to detail.  I often notice things that no one else seems too.  It could be a butterfly, while I’m on a hike or a hawk flying through the sky as I drive along the highway.  It might also be about people.  I like to people watch and to pay attention to how they interact in the world.  Photography is an art form that allows me to capture those moments of notice.

            When I was young my parents and grandparents always had a camera, but most of the photos we took were group photographs.  It was always forced pictures, something to prove that we were all at the same place, at the same time, on that particular day. I was never impressed by this use of cameras.  However, my great -grandmother died of Alzheimer’s when I was 14 years old and one thing that seemed significant was that she couldn’t remember her trip to Ireland during her last year, a trip that was taken with all of her adult children.  It was her life’s dream to visit Ireland and everyone seemed so sad by her loss of that memory.  I wondered desperately why no one had any pictures to show her, even a group photo would have been helpful.  Years later, when I planned my first trip to Europe, I immediately felt that I needed a camera.  Not just any camera, but something significant and memorable. Instead of a digital camera, I decided a regular 35mm film camera was appropriate.  I bought it on Craigslist and it included a zoom lens with "Macro" capabilities.  I wasn’t sure exactly what all of those things meant but I eventually learned that it allowed me to get close-up pictures, to subjects that were usually more difficult to capture in great detail. 

During my trip to Estonia, I used my camera to capture details that I felt I would remember, but would be excited to share with my husband and children.  I took pictures of walls that were over 1,000 years old, the sun shining over the Baltic Sea,  people waiting by the dozens for public transportation. I stopped on the side of the highway to take pictures of fields of yellow flowers, and walked to the night club because there was still enough light to continue capturing details of the building we would pass by.  When I returned home I couldn’t wait for my film to be developed!  I gave my family the play by play of my trip, with visual evidence to help them.  I was so happy to see all of those moments captured on film, to help me remember as well.

After my trip I began to think about all of the opportunities there are to capture memories in life.  As a mother of young children I was beginning to see how fast my children grew and I wanted to capture those memories as well.  Soon though, I realized that using a film camera was expensive!  I was paying for the film, as well as, the development and I was developing pictures that many times did not come out as captivating as I would have hoped.  The capabilities of a digital camera appealed to me. I began asking some of my friends that also dabbled in photography and they recommended different brands.  I bought my first DSLR camera soon after.  With this new camera and a small SD card I was able to capture hundreds of photos in a single session and I could pick and choose which ones I wanted to share, or print.  I discovered the world of blogging and began my own photography blog on Wordpress.com. Within this forum I was able to interact with other photographers, amateur and professional.  I was encouraged by their feedback on my photos and inspired by the photos they shared. 

The more time I spent scrolling through the photos of my fellow bloggers and reading about the techniques they used to capture specific types of photos, the more I wanted to learn.  At the time I was a college student and I was feeling some hesitation about entering into the teaching program.  So, I decided to take a photography course.  I learned so much about the technical aspects of using a camera, developing film and printing photos.  All of which were intensely interesting and exciting.  However, something else happened.  I became over-inspired, if that is even possible.  After learning so much and being exposed to so many inspirational photographers, through documentaries, literature and prints, I saw what I could accomplish with photography … if only I would give up my dream of becoming a teacher and spend my life behind the camera and in the dark room.  When I realized I wasn’t willing to do this, my inspiration plummeted for photography. 

  Subconsciously and consciously, I took a break from my camera and my blog and decided it was time to apply for the education program at RIC.  I had been afraid that maybe I wasn’t going to be a good teacher, or that maybe I wouldn’t like it as much as I had imagined, all of my life.  It was the one dream I had since I was young, and it remained unchanged, which somehow made it pure and untouchable.  I had put off applying to the education program for so long.  However, when I followed my interest in the art of photography, learned so much about it in that small amount of time and also saw how inspired I became, I recognized that doing the same thing, with the “art of teaching”, would be the most rewarding opportunity I could offer to myself.  As I often did when capturing a photograph, I looked at the small details (applying to the program, graduating from the program) and placed them in the larger picture (becoming a teacher and leading a fulfilling life, reaching the goal that is most cherished to me). I saw that life was going by and my opportunity could also pass by.

Since applying to the program and beginning my journey, I have picked my camera back up.  All of the experience and knowledge that I have learned allows me to be a more versatile and creative photographer.  I can choose whether or not I want to shoot on automatic, if I want to have more control in manual mode, if I want a crisp, clear lens or if I want to place a plastic bag over the lens to create a softer look to my photo.  I feel confident that I can pick up a book about photography and have a good enough understanding to build on my knowledge with greater ease.  This confidence continues to transfer into other aspects of life, including my journey as a student teacher.  I no longer fear my dream of becoming a teacher but instead, I look forward to the challenges and inspiration that will help me to help others.  I know that my interest in photography will continue to inspire me and I will continue to take the opportunity to learn more about this art, not knowing where it will take me. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and there are thousands of opportunities to take a picture but a life long dream can only be realized once.